What’s all this jazz?

I have decided so far that my name is probably Anton Krasauskas. I live near Leeds in the U Kingdom and I try as much as I can to create things that I enjoy in the hope that other people will enjoy them too.

I recently realised that I am nowhere close to being as prolific as I would like and so I decided to jump start my entire artistic career once more. (I killed it off once before in 2011 when I decided that I was happier playing video games and moaning about how there’s very little for me to do, trying my best not to have a job and wasting the life that I have left complaining that there’s not enough time left in the universe.)

I write a lot of stuff, I make artworks that I can’t really justify and I aspire to be as popular and well liked as my favourite people in the world. I have the great privilege of working with most of them in some form as an artist/performer and I’m trying to make sure that I can take better advantage of that fact.

So…in terms of what I do now, I’ve never really been sure what I did in the first place. I made a couple of solo performance pieces about break ups and death and decided that this whole autobiographical thing was far too depressing and dropped the entire idea of being in any way creative outside of my work with The Skeleton Project.

Then in the summer of 2013 I had a really intense and religious experience at a festival in the Yorkshire Moors. It was called The Impossible Lecture and it broke me in a way that I wish I had been broken many years ago. I decided then that I needed to just do something. Anything. I had to stop being so scared of what people thought of me and what I was to other people. I had to face the idea that whatever I project of myself, I’m never going to be happy unless it’s an accurate representation of myself with less self editing and far less interest in other people’s opinions of me or my work. I had to just let myself be me and fuck the outcomes. If people like it then great, let’s be friends. We’ll drink and laugh and tell stories and sing and occasionally dance and do everything we possibly can to realise our dreams and live. If people don’t then it doesn’t really matter because I probably won’t be seeing them for very long.

I decided that I’d rather be myself. The fear of not being myself became much greater when i compared it against the fear of what people think of me.

Anyway, hopefully this will the most journally that i’ll ever get. Things might happen and stuff might be said but I’ll try my best to keep this a place for work and discussion of art, performance and creativity.

Thank you. You know who you are.

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