There are days when people leave. It’s not always nice and sometimes it’s not even obvious until much later. But there are days when people are just not there anymore. Whether it’s because they had to go and follow their own path or because they had run out of time to do so. There are days when people leave.
It’s not always easy to deal with. Depending who it is and where they’ve gone. Following a foolish notion that maybe they’ll be on the bus one morning or out walking the dog, as though waiting to be noticed and embraced back into the fold. Sometimes when they look across and eyes meet, there’s a moment where they might say hello. Sometimes it wasn’t even them, it just looked like them from behind. It’s not always easy to deal with.
It always feels like tomorrow it will be easier. Some days it is and some days it isn’t. When there is a realisation that holding on to the last memory of them speaking is doing more harm than good, causing more tears where there used to be smiles, it’s time to let go and say goodbye to that memory. They will not be forgotten, but they won’t be front and centre, accompanying every decision and every idea and understanding. There will still be mornings where their face leaps out from the remnants of a dream and it’s all that can be done to settle the heart and breathe again. There will be evenings where their voice could almost be calling out from the dark silence on the other side of the much too big bed. There will be afternoons where accidentally falling down the stairs seems like a sensible option. Tomorrow will be easier.
To those who had to leave, I wish you well.
To those who are still with me. Let’s do something.